Tonight we were watching some home movies of when the boys were younger. The boys have been asking to watch and so I sat down while Brian was changing the boys sheets (bunk beds are hard to do pregnant!)

We watched a bunch when it was just Gregory and he got his Buzz lightyear (huge thing at the time). Funny, because the boys have brought back the Toy story toys this week and have been in that phase again! Then we watched some of Adam when he was two and the boys playing together and some Christmas fun. We laughed and joked around and it was really fun. Until I noticed Gregory holding back some tears (… you can tell when someone is holding them back… the glassy eyes, sniffling, etc…) When I asked “Gregory… what’s wrong” He just started balling…. and said “I just don’t know why I’m crying, I just am. I don’t know what it is…. I think I’m just tired or something” I held him for a while and chatted with him. At this point I felt like I was the one holding back the tears!!

It’s funny though…. as a Mom I just knew what the problem was! When I was growing up I remember having these same moments, just not in front of others. Moments of being sad about childhood past and thinking of having to go back to school (another year gone by and another year older). Also the fact that all these home movies were taken at our old house, and the memories we made there. I’m kind of a “closet cryer”. And don’t show my emotion as much in front of other people. I’m pretty good at “holding back” and not letting it all out in front of others. That’s why some think things can just “roll off my back” as I’ve heard people tell me before…. when really it might truly be affecting me or bugging me! I’m so thankful to have Brian to chat with and open up to!

Tonight, Gregory was trying to hold back those tears, but couldn’t once i asked what was bugging him. Poor guy!! I know how he was feeling. He never opened up completely, but I just know that was it! Makes me just want to squeeze him and hold him a little longer and make him stay the way he is forever! However, as much as I would love that…. I know he has to grow up and I know Brian and I have been blessed with these boys as gifts from God. Not to keep for ourselves, but to raise up to know and Love Him. Raise up to be godly men who might someday have families of their own.

He’s such a great little boy that has such a tender loving heart and you could really see that tonight. He cares so much for others, loves his family, loves the Lord, wants to please others, very helpful and has such a great heart!

Love you so much Gregory Michael!!!