Some days my Bible study can just hit me upside the head and light bulbs go off. Love when that happens! I’ve been wrestling with a lot lately. A lot I guess I just don’t TALK about too because life gets busy and its hard to find that length of time I need to be able to chat and let my heart go! I don’t want to be a complainer either.
God isn’t the one that always brings difficult things in our life. He sometimes allows them. I have to learn to not just look at the actual things happening but try to see the spiritual truths and try to gleen what God wants me to learn from the “life interruptions”. Oh my goodness this can be so hard! REALLY hard sometimes! You have to have the right mind-set CONSTANTLY and be able to stop your sinful nature from prevailing in any given situation. God wants to “have an intimacy of a relationship that molds, our hearts into HIS IMAGE”. That quote from a study I’m doing really hit me today. God wants to use all these things that happen on a daily basis to get me to go to HIM, LEAN on HIM, CRY out to HIM…… He wants ME! Wow. To think He might allow things in my life because He wants US! I constantly need to ask and seek out what He might be wanting me to learn in this.
Right now I’m in the thick of child raising. Five boys from 14, 10, 4, 2, and 9 months. It’s a wide range. I love it. I love them. However, it is hard and to stay in tune with what God wants from me is hard as well when you are in this life and you have to be a mother and deal with daily “life” things. I need to make sure I get that time to develop intimacy that He so desires from me. My life and the circumstances are lessons from Him. I need the Lord to open my eyes to see what He may be teaching me. Then open my heart to receive those lessons and keep them at the front of my mind. Even on nights when I’m up doing breathing treatments on a baby with pneumonia, living day to day on little sleep, dealing with a child who needs so much more attention to keep him on track EVERY DAY, helping another learn words and remember words because he’s behind with talking, helping my teen develop a habit of daily time with God, the many times I have to discipline because of attitude or sin issues, the many hours I spend cleaning and cooking for my family. Even though life happens, I have to be prepared spiritually to guide and direct my young guys. I have to be ready to lean on God when things are tough. It gets weary doing the same thing over and over and sometimes I wonder if things are “working”. Right now I don’t see exactly what God is doing with certain things in our life right now. I think because I’m IN IT and one day I will get to look back and say… “wow, God really brought us through that” and be able to SEE maybe what He was doing. So for now, I need to lean on God, trust and strive to do what He wants me to do as a mother, wife, friend and child of Him. I need to do better at building that intimacy through prayer and time with Him in the Word. Throw away time wasters and spend more time with what matters.
I love God. I love how He opens our minds and helps us see things from His perspective. I love that God gives people the gift of writing Bible studies too that help aide in teaching us and making His Word more clear.
