I think for the past few months life has kinda been an emotional roller coaster for me.  I’m not used to these emotions that I feel so often all the time.  Pop getting sick and then dying has been a tough thing for this family. Its hard because I’ve not had to parent through this kind of stuff before. Some days are harder than others, like today.

 There has been a lot of changes in our lives too, that make things feel uncertain and just hard.  Brian was asked to step down from playing drums in our church.  He loved doing that for MANY years in our church.  There still seems to be hurt there.  At times I think Brian feels unappreciated and just kinda pushed to the side.  I can see why he feels that way.   I stepped down from being children’s director in December because I knew my priority was at home.  There is no more Awana at our church which Brian led.

These things seem to have left us feeling kinda blah with serving in our church.  I think its partly this but also partly feeling like we aren’t as connected as we want to be.  With a big family we think people shy away from inviting us over.  Or maybe people just don’t like us. Ha!  We love our fellowship group and are looking forward on having more families to dinner to share in fellowship.  We figure that will help us get to visiting more with families.   I’m feeling a little sad at times to have rolls reversed and other stepping up and serving in ministries where-as we are not.  There is a season for everything though.

However, even though this seems like a strange time.   I think God is speaking loudly to our family (particularly Brian and I)…… our MAIN ministry is these SIX blessings!!! We are very busy right now with all of them.  They are all at different stages of life and all have different needs.  We are called to parent them first and foremost before we take on more ministry opportunities.

So for now….. I pray that I can be the best wife, best Mother I can be.  I pray that I can raise these people up in the way of the Lord.  

I think God will USE us in their lives!
I think God will USE us in the lives of others too.
I hope and pray that God will direct and show us when and if we are to take on more outside of our home ministry.  

For now, for me, I’m gonna try to work through these emotions and sometimes frustration and pray that I can be used on a daily basis right in my own home!