I was looking back over some old journalling that I had done and just enjoyed reading and actually even learning from myself. HA! I wrote the article before many years ago after I went through the first of three miscarriages in a row. I remember those three months Sept 2008, December 2008, and then in Jan. 2009. Looking back those were some of the most difficult times. Trying to wrap my head around it and asking “why”. We don’t always know the why’s and sometimes I just don’t think we are meant to know. Instead we must trust and have faith, knowing He’s got it all in His hands and its all for his glory. I was just telling Luke the other night…. “ya know I had a little baby growing inside me and that baby died a month before we found out we had you growing inside”. If that little one had lived, then Luke would not have been here. There was some reason God need that to happen. He held our hands and we grew closer to Him. He gave us four more babies after we lost those three tiny ones.
Today we celebrate Luke Samuel turning 8 years old! Luke will always hold a special place in my heart.
Post from year 2008 after a loss…..
We just started a new Women’s Bible study on Monday’s. We are going through Philippians in the Bible. The Study is called “Learning to be Content”, by Judy Gerry. We’ve only just begun and I do believe it will be a neat study and I know God will grow me through it.
As I was doing my homework this week I’m realizing I have so much to be thankful for! I really do! I have a wonderful awesome Savior, who rescued me from the penalty of death for my sins. He washed away my punishment. Do I deserve that? No, but He in His awesome mercy, love and Grace did it for me. Thank you Jesus! I have the best husband that anyone could ask for! We complete each other wonderfully. He is so passionate about the Lord, and I love to see him get so excited for what God is doing in his life. I have two of the cutest, sweetest boys in the world. I love them so much and am more grateful for them than I ever have been! He’s blessed us in so many other ways as well, and I’m truly grateful!
It has been hard the past couple weeks. The loss of our baby that was just beginning to form inside me has certainly taken a toll on us, and I think especially me. I feel it most when I’m alone and in the quiet. I’m still not over the miscarriage completely, as I’m physically still tired and emotionally still sad (deep down). It’s hard because we wanted that baby so badly. We were so excited when God blessed us with the news of me being pregnant again.
However, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 he is saying to give thanks in everything. Meaning any circumstance, because God has certain things for each of us to go through, and there are reasons for those life circumstances. He’s trying to grow us in our faith, make us stronger, realize areas we need to change etc. We are to praise the Lord because of…..
For those who LOVE THE LORD all things will work for the good. Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” I can’t say that I am happy that our baby is gone. But I do know that I can cling to Him who gives me peace and joy at all times, no matter what the circumstance may be.
The Lord is Almighty, King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, and he gives and takes away. Job 1:21 “…The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away may the name of the LORD be praised.” My babies aren’t mine anyway. He’s only just loaned them to me, to raise up to love Him. I don’t own them! He’s blessed Brian and I with two handsome little boys and they are only on loan to us from Him! I don’t know if I will ever know why I had to go through a miscarriage and loose a little one that we so desperately wanted. I do know that in the big plan of His, there is a reason and because I love the Lord I know it will be for the good. God is providing exactly what is best for me, Brian, and our family. Though some days are hard, filled with emotion and tears…..I cling to what He tells me in HIS WORD! I cling to Him! My Savior. Blessed be your name!
