I hope the boys know that marriage is for LIFE.  Its something that takes intentional effort to cultivate and keep new and fresh every day! It is the most wonderful union and its special! We love each other so much and each day it gets better and better.  We have a heart for marriages out there.  God hates to see them end in divorce and just quit.  We have to FIGHT and keep the spark alive.  It takes TWO giving 100%

Last weekend we shared on how we deal with conflict.  HA! It was funny because we shared a REAL LIFE argument that we had had that week.  It made things more real!  We only got 8 minutes to share and I’m just gonna post our notes here to have, that our kids can have :

CONFLICT

• We were asked how we deal with conflict in our marriage.  We have been married 17 years (this September 18th).  Been a wonderful marriage and we learn a lot each day.  Our marriage isn’t perfect, nothing is in this sin cursed world.  One thing that really helps us is standing firm that we don’t give up, divorce has never been in our vocabulary. We may disagree on things but one thing we agree upon is to NEVER GIVE UP.

• (FIGHT example….. been a long hot day, everyone was hungry and tired.  Titus was mimicking Annie Mae’s screaming, which just made the loudness worse.  FIGHT, RESOLVE)

• We try not to let the sun go down on angry feelings.  We do our best to work things out in an unselfish manor.  We end each night praying.  We haven’t missed a night praying with each other unless one of us in on a retreat.  
• Spring’s dad encouraged  us to build our foundation on the Lord and go together to pray and we try to always come together before the Lord before we go to bed.  Being together as one in Jesus helps with conflict as well.        

• One thing we agreed upon when we were engaged is to always take some sort of a date night weekly.  It can be as small as a walk around the block, up to get a coffee, dinner or something bigger. Its important to get out and have uninterrupted time together, especially with 6 kids!  

• Learning to love each other unselfishly is a big thing that helps keep conflict at bay.  Christ has to be our main pursuit in order for us to keep those selfish feelings in check. This isn’t easy at all!  
• One last point that is really important, is to learn each other’s love language To learn how the other person needs to feel loved 

• Its so easy to show love in ways that are ways we want to be loved, but it takes effort to love the way they need it.  We’ve found you have to be INTENTIONAL about showing love in the way that they need.  

• When conflict does come, and it does, we have to communicate with each other, like we have had to learn to do.  You can’t just sweep it under the rug.