Great is Thy Faithfulness

After Pop said last night that he wanted to hear a speech from me, I knew I needed to get busy writing something. I left last night after Pop said “I love you too”. I’ve been thinking a while about writing something that is on my heart to share with Pop. I wanted to share things before he leaves to go home. I want him to know how I feel about him. I wanted him to know my heart. I wanted to share with him and not just remember him after.

I spent some time in amongst some busy little boys playing and during Annie Mae’s nap this morning to write. I asked the Lord to just give me the words and that he would remind me of memories to share.

I wrote. I cried. Luke asked why I was crying. I shared with him. He shared memories too. Oh there is so much more I could write. I will add to it as things come to mind.

Then, I felt an urgency to go SHARE with Pop. I asked Brian to come home and work from home. I know he had so much on his plate at work and I hated to ask him but I could NOT find a babysitter and really needed to go. I had no idea of what Pop’s condition would be when I got there. He was awake though and I was glad. I told him I had something to share with him and I needed him to listen.

Mom was in there and I told her she could stay but that I needed her to look away because I couldn’t bare to see her face too while I read.

I read, cried and read.

Tears started flooding from Pop. I haven’t seen this emotion from him since he’s been in this condition. But he cried as he looked at me. I finished and he said THANK YOU, THANK YOU. It was clear and I heard him tell me that. We talked some, or rather I talked a little more with him and then he asked me to read it again. I wasn’t sure about that but I did as he asked. I read and the tears came again. At one point the nurse came in and was trying to get him to drink and he spoke up kinda loudly (doesn’t happen these days with Pop) and said “We are doing something here”. Kinda said it in a way of like “leave us alone”. I continued to read. It ended and he was just looking at me. I shared lots of I LOVE YOU’S.

I sat and looked at Pop. Realizing that I really hadn’t LET GO or told him it was OK to go. Mom and I texted because we didn’t want to discuss it in front of him, and we both knew that needed to happen. I looked at Pop and said “are you getting better” and he just looked at me. I then asked “Pop, are you dying” he then started to cry we hugged. I told him it was okay, God’s got your back and it’s going to be okay. We talked about heaven and how it’s going to be an awesome place where he will have no more suffering no more pain he will get a new body. He said over and over
“I can’t wait”. Hearing that brought tears to my eyes tears of joy and tears of sadness. I think Pop is ready to meet Jesus. I think he has known for a while that this is happening to him. I think God has subtly been preparing all of us. All of us in different ways. Pop said “glory glory” a few times when we talked of heaven. We talked of the great things and all the people that are in heaven that he knows and loves. When we were talking of heaven he mentioned that he wanted to see everyone, he wanted to see everybody there that was in heaven.

Pops body is ready to be done in this earth. I really feel like he wants to meet Jesus face-to-face. I felt like we had a good time tonight letting him go and letting him know that it was okay to go.

I feel so blessed that I was able to have that time that moment with Pop to share what he means to me and my family. I hope to add to that tribute and add more things as I think of them and maybe even be able to share that too with pop if time allows. For now I’m feeling like I shared what God wanted for me to share with him, for today.

I had no idea Mom took this. I love how Pop is so intently looking and taking in what I’m saying.

I love how God works things out. I knew I needed to go, but couldn’t find a sitter and Brian had loads of work. However, he came home. Annie Mae was a little angel babe. She napped all afternoon in the swing. She was even asleep after I got home. She woke and allowed me to eat dinner since I was starving and hadn’t eaten. Sweet as can be. The older boys walked home today and all worked out. After I talked to Pop today I had to run to get groceries from Trader Joes. As I was loading the car, the checker ran out to catch me and brought me a huge bouquet of flowers and said “I don’t know whats going on with you today but really felt the need to give you these”. I hugged and thanked her so much! The sweetest things!